Dear Todd,
Today, after multiple kind requests, and explanations of how the little people of our home could help us...conversations that turned into a scene from Jerry McQuire, "HELP ME. HELP YOU!" of what inevitably distilled down to "RAKE THE G*DDAMN LEAVES" I found myself singing the line from Major Tom over and over in my head "Here am I floating in my tin can..." I think it speaks to this element of a separation of worlds taking place: the teen world vs the old farts.
As CEO of the Old Farts, in addition to Leaf Raking 101, I have decided to implement a "Safe to Wipe" policy: See something.Wipe something. The goal is to promote self-motivated wiping. I want our children to know that they needn't fear the sponge or the Windex. I want them to know that they will be supported in all incidents where they feel there may be something to wipe. I may need you to design some pamphlets or posters.
Sunday, October 27, 2019
Wednesday, October 9, 2019
Wednesday
10/09/19
Dear Todd,
It started as a typical Wednesday night. Ya know the drill...wherein I pick our daughter up from dance and she works hard to stay in her little capsule of rage. She's giggling and happy waving bye to other dancer friends, but as soon as she spots her younger brother in the front seat, the pin is pulled and our little grenade sits in her pod of injustice the whole ride home. Today she's seeing the world through a lens of stupidity, fatigue, starvation and...did I mention stupidity? Everything, especially the flu shot she received 12 HOURS AGO, is stupid.
As we walked in to the house, my mouth poised to say something ridiculously brilliant about the meaning of life, our 15 year old jumped down the stairs, barely clothed, dancing to a new musical favorite, "Why don't you strip no more?" Our youngest, finding this to be a fabulous and catchy tune, began to slowly gyrate down the face of the refrigerator as he grabbed various items for his lunch. He warned us all, and I quote, "not to get too distracted by his 'ass magic.'" No acknowledgement from the capsule of rage. Nothing. A steel trap that one. She continued to methodically put her lunch together for tomorrow, while both brothers performed a surprisingly entertaining off-off-broadway performance of Magic Mike.
I, on the other hand, put another check next to my flowchart entitled, "Ways in which we have failed as parents." I think this will be helpful when our children are trying to sort out which parent did the most damage and how. Not sure, however, if I want the responsibility for the emotional shut-in or the male strippers. It's like Sophie's Choice all over again.
Dear Todd,
It started as a typical Wednesday night. Ya know the drill...wherein I pick our daughter up from dance and she works hard to stay in her little capsule of rage. She's giggling and happy waving bye to other dancer friends, but as soon as she spots her younger brother in the front seat, the pin is pulled and our little grenade sits in her pod of injustice the whole ride home. Today she's seeing the world through a lens of stupidity, fatigue, starvation and...did I mention stupidity? Everything, especially the flu shot she received 12 HOURS AGO, is stupid.
As we walked in to the house, my mouth poised to say something ridiculously brilliant about the meaning of life, our 15 year old jumped down the stairs, barely clothed, dancing to a new musical favorite, "Why don't you strip no more?" Our youngest, finding this to be a fabulous and catchy tune, began to slowly gyrate down the face of the refrigerator as he grabbed various items for his lunch. He warned us all, and I quote, "not to get too distracted by his 'ass magic.'" No acknowledgement from the capsule of rage. Nothing. A steel trap that one. She continued to methodically put her lunch together for tomorrow, while both brothers performed a surprisingly entertaining off-off-broadway performance of Magic Mike.
I, on the other hand, put another check next to my flowchart entitled, "Ways in which we have failed as parents." I think this will be helpful when our children are trying to sort out which parent did the most damage and how. Not sure, however, if I want the responsibility for the emotional shut-in or the male strippers. It's like Sophie's Choice all over again.
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