Parents Anonymous

8/31/19

Dear Todd,

I think there needs to be an AA for those living in the land of AA (adolescent angst). It would go something like this:

Parent: Hi, my name is 'Beth'.

Group: HI BETH.

Parent: Hi. Today I pissed off my teenager multiple times.

Group heaves a heavy knowing sigh

Parent: I have been thinking about each interaction and wondering what it was I did?

Group: HMMMM MMMMM

Parent: I've been tracing my steps in an effort to see where I went wrong.

Group leader: You are not alone. Why don't you take us through your day.

Parent: I took her to her audition for the Nutcracker.

Group: Ooooooh...

Parent: She wanted to go there.

Group: Did she?

Parent: She asked if I could take her there today.

Group: Then what happened?

Parent: She came out of the audition and did not want to speak.

Group: HMMMM MMMMMM

Parent: So I said some positive statements about bravery and effort.

Group: YOU DID WHAT?!?!?!

Parent: I know! I know! I screwed up! I quickly covered it with an offer to go to the dog park because she had asked about doing that today too.

Group: And then what happened?

Parent: The car got quiet, and she said, "Ok."

Group: Hmmmmm

Parent: I then said, "Why don't you run in and change and then we can go."

Group: EEEEESSSSH!!!!

Parent: I know! I know! but I really didn't want the ballet tights to get ruined at the dog park.

Group leader: I can't believe you suggested she change.

Parent: It gets worse.

Group: Noooooo

Parent: Yea. I chose the dog park closer to our house.

Group: And...

Parent: It's not the one she likes.

Group: (Collective face palm)

Parent: She told me in no uncertain terms that "THAT DOG PARK HAS NO DOGS."

Group: Amateur

Parent: I know. I just...

Group: Did you go to her favorite?

Parent: No

Group: Risky.

Parent: I know. But there were dogs at this one.

Group: Were they the right dogs?

Parent: No. No they were not.

Group: Better luck next time. What have you learned from this experience?

Parent: That it's not about me?

Group: Yes and...?

Parent: Nothing I do will be good enough for the next 10 years or so?

Group: Yes, Beth. Yes. See you tomorrow?

Parent: Yup. I'll have more to share. Thanks.